So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So many bounce houses so little time
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
