woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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