things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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