i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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