Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
