Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
