He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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