It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
