When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
