Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
