Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
