A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
