I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
