is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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