pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
