I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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