He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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