So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
