god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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