She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
