spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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