i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
