i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
