You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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