walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
