Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
