Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
