please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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