Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
