O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
