Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
