maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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