we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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