I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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