no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
