exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
