Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
