No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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