My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
