Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
