if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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