i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
