Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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