I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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