They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
