apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
