what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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