do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
