How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
