bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
