look no pants
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
