What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The chlamydia really affected his face.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
