my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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