He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
