sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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