nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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