apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
