My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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